Ghosts in the Hallways

It is said that the high school I currently work in is haunted. About 3 ghosts walk the halls and enter the various rooms, but not necessarily at night.

Main Building: (boy ghost)

Sometimes during a class, a door or hall window will be open just enough for someone to peek in (maybe it opens itself; I heard this a while ago). A student’s face can be seen through the opening and it seems like he wants to enter the room, but he disappears into the hall. A teacher or student might be tempted to open the door to inquire about the student (ask why he’s not in class), but they are greeted with nothing. He’s gone

South Building: (girl ghost)

Another student dwells in the Home Economics Course’s classrooms. She will show up on a whim to attend class. Usually standing, she wears the uniform of several years back. A teacher once wondered why a girl wearing another school’s uniform was standing in the classroom. Well, it wasn’t another school. It was just another time.

Koshinjan Building: (Voices and a Presence)

In the newer building where they have the library, the language lab, the kitchen, and the computer rooms, there is another presence. Another teacher was with some students and getting ready to leave. A storage closet built into the wall next to the staircase was opened, but no light on. It wasn’t cleaning time, so nobody would need the closet, so they closed it. As they did, a scream escaped. It sounded like a girl. It could very well have been a girl. Some other students heard it too. It seemed to come from the closet, but they searched it. Nothing.

There have been some things I have seen and quickly brushed off; the boy’s bathroom door slowly opening and closing as if someone were leaning against it, the crazy hairy monster I saw out of the corner of my eye and sitting on the counter where I teach, the bodies lined up in the rear of my curtained room, just waiting, and the oft sounds of footsteps. The door can be explained by an open window and a healthy breeze. The hairy head would be my bag with wool scarf draped across it. The line up of students was the models for new uniforms which were set up for display. The footsteps are usually someone else…or something.

I have felt things; a shadowy figure watching as I descend the staircase, cold feeling shivering my body in hot room, and a voice…not exactly sure what it is or what it’s saying, maybe a mumble. I sometimes get jumpy when stuff like that happens.

While spooked, one could imagine seeing shoes in a toilet stall and the door opening to reveal nothing. Or how about picking up a pen and noticing there are four shoes under a desk where only two should be. A tap on your shoulder while shitting would freak out most, but not as bad as a scratching sensation on one’s ass while shitting and reading the paper. Not a good feeling? If you’re a guy and hear giggling noises behind you while peeing in an empty rest room…then get your rod caught in the zipper…now THAT is a bad feeling.

I don’t mind getting freaked out on occasion. Hell, many people pay good money to get freaked out. I just don’t want fucked up Casper and his buddies showing up while I teach my classes, take a shit, or piss in the top floor’s usually deserted restroom.

There are no voices:

“Did I scare you out of your skin?”

“We like you. You’ll fit in. Let us in. We want you.”

“Hehehehehehehe, I see you.”

“I like your skin.”

“OPEn! opeN. nOpen. ahiOpen. oPen the door.”

But there are noises.

Noises are harmless, usually helpful.

See any ghosts lately?

Bush Comments-Domestic Spying

The Bush Administration is trying to make a point. The basic point is that the US should be protected at all costs. While this is all well and fine, it is like a abusive father saying that he beat his kids up because he loves them (Don't you love your kids? Don't you want to see them grow up and be great?). Well, Team Bushy has taken this similar thinking (Don't you love your country? Don't you want your country to be safe?). Please remember that President Bush is not 007. He's not even British.

Do I agree with him? No. The US (President) does not have the kind of power he thinks it has.

Could they get warrants to do wire taps and so on and so forth? Yes.

Why don't they? Maybe they are worried about some kind of information leaking out while in the process of getting the warrants. Not that any info has leaked so far.

Does Team Bushy need to reexamine their own security? Hell yeah! This is not the first time and obviously not the last. The biggest threat lately seems to be that the White House has so many leaks that a million plumbers will just put it off till the next administration, because then it should fix itself.

As Promised

Ahhhhhh. Sunshine.

Invasion of the Tally-Whackers

First I must apologize to The Jeff. I in no way meant to infer that he liked to touch other dudes’ Tally-whackers, and I understand that what he likes to do in his free-time is his own business. However, after all is said and done, it’s still pretty funny. Follow the voices Jeff. They seem to know things we don’t.

In light of the Jeff’s assurance that he did not, does not, and will never touch another gent’s one-eyed-monster (denial? HAHA. He gonna kick my little half-ass when he gets back over here in Japan…bet it makes him want to see me even more), I decided to dedicate this post to the phallic. Seeing as I am one of the biggest Dicks ever to walk this planet (just not as well known as my mushroom headed peers) I am comfy writing about the subject. Prepare as we Enter the Penis…

Tally-Whackers of the Future
(funky music plays in the background)

Science is moving in leaps and bounds. DNA, genetic engineering, and some fucked up people are sure to mesh soon. Here is my prediction on some “enhanced” parts. (CAUTION: this is in really bad taste…as are most of this blog’s posts)

1. The Retractable Flesh Monster – For the fellas who feel that their beef gets in the way, or those who just like to use the function to get off.
2. The Crimson Rod of (dramatic pause) Thunder – Why? Just like a sports car, because some guys just want to compensate. The Crimson Rod will never let him (or her) down.
3. The Ribber Phoenix – Ribbed for the pleasure of both partners. It mimics the effect of a phoenix; feels too good so you shoot off early, but stroke it nicely and the Ribber will rise from the ashes.
4. The Leaning Tower of Penis – Speaks for itself. A work of art to behold. Your partner will be left speechless as you pull this outta your pants. Modeled off of a historic landmark, this will show your partner your respect for worldly culture as you take her (this model not recommended for him) to the moon and back.
5. The Wet Willie – This self lubricating rod of wonder gets wetter as you get hotter.
6. Sammy the Salami – A fat, thick, brick of a dick. Great for those times when you need a hard hat and a big fat tool to get the job done.
7. The Jackhammer – Ever feel pale in comparison to a vibrator? This model will take away all of your insecurities.
8. Sammy the Snake – Long, thin, and flexible. Careful with this one, fellas. It seems to have a mind of it’s own.
9. Tricky Ricky– Pretend you’re Houdini as you do more than the typical disappearing act.
10. The Rugged Rider – Ribbed not manly enough for you? This rough model has a rugged surface most SUV’s wouldn’t dare run over. A real man’s dick.
11. The Hairy Hobbit – Like it small and hairy? Prove that personality makes the man as you drop your drawers and reveal this…player. Hairy Hobbit never fails to cause awe and wonder as it fills out quite well. He only needs a little encouragement.

Due to the outright ridiculousness of this post, we have decided to interrupt it in order to make room for something a little more sensible…

Frigging sensors. The Jeff should rip off their… Oppsie, I forgot that The Jeff don’t wanna touch Tally-Whackers. I wonder how long before The Jeff has someone walk by and tell him he has quite a “Pretty Mouth” for a grown man. (Sorry The Jeff, The Dno can’t resist, Pinch me if you must HAHAHAHA).

BTW:
Nothing phallic will be in the next post.

Catching things and other subjects

Catching things

Not so long ago, there was a story about a guy who caught a baby being tossed outta window of a burning building. I discussed it in a private class I had recently. In the class, the student mentioned a story way back he might have seen on TV. It was about a fire fighter catching an adult jumping outta a window of a burning building (or something to that effect). This is interesting because the fire person actually took hold of said individual.

My comment to this: I would try really hard to grab someone falling from a window (usually). However, if it were a woman, I would put more effort. This is not being perverted, but being rational. There is, after all, very little chance of copping a feel. If it were a man falling, I would try to catch him, but I would be prevented from “GRABBING” as much. Thing is…the thingy. I don’t wanna grab onna some guy’s wang-tang while he’s on the way down (read into it as you like). Me thinks like this:

Attempt to catch: “Hey! I got ya!!!”

Realization of what part of Ya I got: “...Ughhh…”

One of two things happens:

1. Drop old bath robed man and he plummets to cold earth.

2. Maintain hold on robed man’s member as his body plummets to cold earth…then drop old man’s (dis)member.

Then one more thing happens:

Poor dead wet bath robed man lies splat on the ground below, but at least he was fondled before his death. And guess who did the fondling? Yes, I go to bed with the knowledge of fondling an old man just before he passed on. Wonder if he liked it?

Moral:

Don’t let me be a fire person. Let The Jeff grab some dude’s tally-whacker as the naked freak jumps outta a burning building in his bath robes. However, do let me watch as I would love to bug Jeff or whoever rips the poor guy’s sausage off ‘im.

_______________________________________________________

Falling Rocks

Apparently, this morning I picked Billy up and he saw them rocks falling perrty good. I didn’t because he said so. After said rock watcher woke up, I asked him about the rocks, and where I could see them. He said, “Daddy has to close eyes and see them.”

Yup, me kid’s a duffus. But at least he has youth to explain the nonsense. I got…well, lack of sanity. I think a little squirrel gave that to me in a bag. The one he hit me over the head with.

Breaking Toilets

Ever think you’d fart so hard the damn toilet couldn’t handle it? I’m still trying.

Life is a musical

I want my life to be made into a musical.

Songs and dance will all be made with reference to yours truly.

Yes, this makes little sense, but neither do I.

__________________________________

81 Points

Kobe Bryant did something interesting. He scored 81 points in a game. While that is all well and fine, his team scored a total of 122 against 104 for Toronto. While this was a high point game, and his teamates did score 41 points, what the hell was he thinking? Ball hog? Yes. Show off? Of course (he is his team's star player, isn't he). Team player? No.

While he is supposed to be a team leader, what is he showing?

It seems like his strategy is some kind of JUST WATCH WHILE I GO ALL THE WORK thinking. No wonder Shaq moved.

Do I think Kobe is worthless? No.

Do I think he needs to get his team in better shape to win? Yes.

Do I think he's doing this to compensate for something else? Yes

Does he need to be a TEAM player? Well, unless he wants to play one-on-team against the NBA's best I suggest he start trying. If I was a coach of any ability, I'd take him out before he hit sixty (points).

Should other teams already know how to beat the Lakers? Yes. Eliminate Kobe.

Moral (wow, 2 in one post):
To be the best at what you do is important, especially in a teamwork environment. Remembering the team helps improve relationships and show a true professional.
However, when you take over the team and run the show by yourself, you kill the team.
(If you can do it by yourself, why include the team at all? Just erase the bottlenecks and the production like runs fine...till it over Heats, Kobe.)

New Year Late

Welcome 2006!!!

It has been a while since my last post for mainly one reason. It's winter.

"So what?" you say.
"Winter means cold." I reply.
"So?"
"Cold means my computer room is quite nippy."
"?"
"Last time I was in there checking my mail, I spent time scraping snow off the tips of my hardened man nipples. Like Mt. Fuji they were. Sticking straight out into the stratosphere. "
"You have problems."
"My little fingers get cold."
"Turn on the heater."
"The wife will yell."
"Wear a jacket."
"Fingers get cold."
"Wear Gloves."
"olkzAg. tthis is whAt Happpwbnas wwhebn I thypw wirt gflkioves.q"
"Fine. Whatever."
"A HA!!! I win."
"Loser."
And then I crawl back into my little hole.

Anyway, it is because of that. I only went into my frozen computer room to get the frozen steak or to do something absolutely necessary on the computer (like e-mail the Honky Tonk Man).

Seldom the book is stasis till I finish IT. I wanted to read IT because I haven't yet and Stephen King is one of my favorites. I like his writing style. That does not mean I am not writing, it just means I am not writing right now. By the way, thank you Matt. I will let you know when I finish something I feel is good enough.

Ahhh, Hardened Man Nipples. I can hear it now.

"Get your man nipples. Get your HARDENED MAN NIPPLES!!! 2 for 5!!!"

It goes up there with swollen-sweaty-hairy donkey balls.

Gotta Run.