Lumpy Nippleskin, a love story

*Warning, this here is some messed up shit!!!

A long long time ago, there was a boy named lumpy. Oh, how Lumpy loved to play and dance and sing and be gay (happy you sods). Lumpy was smart too. Yes, he was quite the clever one.

One day, Lumpy strolled through some woods and happened upon a group of Oopsicles. They were all crying and couldn't be calmed by his gentle voice. So, clever Lumpy decided to sing them a very gay song. Slowly, they all began to turn gay themselves. The joy could be felt all around the wooded areas and even the woodland creatures began to show signs of their gayity. Soon, the group pf Oopsicles were sll calm and ready to tell Lumpy their sorrows.

Apparently, the Evil Poopsicle clan had taken young princess Oopsicle into their underground Evil Poopsicle fortress mini-van. There they were to violate her very young and virgin Oopsicle lips and every other sweet Oopsicle orifice with their very hard and quite evil Evil Poopsicle sticks. This happened last Tuesday and the worlds of grief were spit forward by Oopsicle Grand Masters Pepe and Carlos.

"I will save the princess," said Lumpy all gay. I will save her and have right back here today.

Lumpy Nippleskin took off in a haze of gay light like a rather quite charming yet horseless gay knight. He ran up and down hills, and swam over a lake, then he jumped over a mountain...of ants on parade. It didn't take long, just a moment or two before he picked up the scent of Evil Poopsicle poo. He rushed in head with a whio in his hand to the passage leading to the underground Evil Poopsicle fortress mini-van.

He found the van a rocking with Evil Poopsicle men abound, and with a thud he was hit and his face struck the ground. He awoke with a blinding pain in his ass and a the sounds of Evil Poopsicles just having a blast. He was tied with his whip and been gagged in his mouth and also been forced into an anal up crouch. He thought and he thought of just what he should do then he realized the gag was a gag made of Evil Poopsicle poo. He bit it and swallowed and bit down again as he turned into an Evil Poopsicle man. He slipped out of his bonds and searched for a sword, then he dispatched countless Evil Poopsicles with discord. As he cleaved and he hacked, he slashed and he wacked every Evil Poopsicle Clan Man in the pack.

When all was done and all settled Lumpy spit out the shit, and he rubbed his sore ass as he heard a, "psst...psst." It was the Oopsicle Princess all covered in poo and she wimpered seductively, "Hey, I haven't had you." Lumpy's Evil Poopsicle stick reacted and what a delight, but Lumpy was still Lumpy and could not bear the sight. He huffed and he puffed and and they mingled all night.

In the morning, poor Lumpy was tired as hell and reverted back into his old body as well. The princess, she noticed and a sweet song she sung, titled, "By the Gods you are hung!!!" He quicly covered himself and pulled up his trousers, the last thing poor Lumpy wanted to do was arouse her. He explained had come to her rescue and said that, "the other Oopsicles solemly miss you!" Yet she ripped off his pants and they started to dance, as they smoked smelly poo weed and watched green lava lamps. It took a few days and gay songs to boot for the princess to let Lumpy put back on his suit.

He returned her right back to her Oopsicle lair, and she gave him a medal saying "Switch Hitting Player." They hugged and they kissed and they danced two days more, then Lumpy popped the question and the princess was floored. Yet, she spoke; "Now listen you stunning hero and lover. I could never marry to you nor another. Don't you see? Your daddy, Floyd Nippleskin...is my Brother."


The End

Benoit, how I handle it

It has been a few days since Chris Benoit, his wife, and his seven year old son were found dead in their home. I hang my head in shock and shake it slowly in remorse. I want to say that I have the answers to this one, I don't. I love wrestling, and the death of wrestlers always affects me. Whether they perform as heals or baby faces (bad or good), they are all heroes to me. It doesn't matter what happens to them between the last I see them perform and their last moments on earth, I see only what I need to see...because they are my heroes. It is great to hear if a wrestler is doing well after they leave the business. It is saddening to hear when a wrestler has fallen to lows that even a poorly writen wrestling storyline wouldn't think of touching. Unfortunately with Benoit, he is one of the later. That said, this is not a "Say it ain't so!" moment. This is a "he was a good man...up until last weekend" moment.

What Mr. Benoit did is bad, very bad. It is an evil thing made worse by the fact that he placed bibles around the dead, including himself. It seems as if he tried to purify, to make everything right, to open the gates of heaven to his family. I still respect him for what he did to entertain in one of the hardest industries to successfully perform in. I do not understand why he did what he did, but I chose to not remember him by what he did in the last two days in his life. I do take in what he did. I realise that it is not something someone who is "right" would do. I am not saying that he was nuts. I am not saying he wasn't. This is just not normal. One can only say that no matter what, he was ill.

The WWE caught some flack for their initial response to the tragedy; the three hour Benoit tribute. WWE did right by doing a tribute. I am glad they did it when they did. I am afraid that there will be little or no chance to reflect on the man and his family without mention of the killings and suicide. For Mr. McMahon to come out of character and blow a storyline out of character, that showed how much of a man he really is. I have unlimited respect for him and his organization.

Knowing the who, the what, the when (aproximately), the where, the how, but not the the big bad why (other than the obvious fact that he was not in the right mind). I do know that another tower has fallen. I bow my head for Chris Benoit, his family and friends, and the fans who respect the business and the people who make it great. I chose to remember him for what he did for most of his life, not the last day or so of it.

Sony vs GOD

Well it has been a while, but I decided to dedicate some time to this. I am feeling like being a dick. (Note that this arguement is one-sided. Bitch slap me later if you diagree with my opinions.)

Sony has put images of an English Cathedral in the game "Resistance: Fall of Man" for the PS3. The church has taken offense at the image of Manchester cathedral being used. Well, it is a likeness and not a picture.

Let us visit Sony's defense. It says that the game is not based on reality, the cathedral in the game is contrived by artists and not made by digital reproductions, and the game is for entertainment...thus the game part, I guess.

Don's comments; "Sony is little too nice." The church is not based on reality, it is based on something called FAITH. There is also a saying that you should choose your battles wisely. The fact that the church has an image of not being "up to date" with the rest of the world on several issues has erroded it's power. The fact that there was a little sex scandle involving little kids that blew up in the church's face doesn't help much. Sony could have made a crude but reasonable remark that it never made nor funded a game depicting a young choir boy running to escape various member of the clergy (now that game would have been sacrilegious...but funny as hell...so to say).

The church says that the images of people bringing guns into the church hit a little close to home (Manchester seems to have a gun problem). The church also invites many young people to visit the church each year (most likely to see the beauty and so on of the church), and they feel that having the image of the church in the game has ruined their efforts to show these kids that church is not a place for shootouts. Also, the church is not too happy that the makers of the game did not ask for permission to put the church in the game.

Don's comments: Well, the gun problem is the city's and not the church's (unless it is...). The church could ask its members to not buy the game and boycott Sony. The church could stop acting like an angry child and become leaders in the community by preaching that guns and violence are not good for society (Note; this is for the gun problem in Manchester and the violent games). The church should find better ways to attract young people to the religion. Perhaps...a singing competition game where a young chior boy tries to...impress members of the clergy. They could put messages and biblical learnings in it as well as use it as a way to teach young members religious songs...without parents worrying about their kids getting buggered.

I am sure this will offend, but I am not totally awake yet. I post this not to piss people off. I post this because I haven't posted anything lately and this seemed like a good chance to b me.

D