Passwords

Hello everyone out there in Internet Land.
More irrelevance. I have had too many serious posts lately (what..."?) so this is dedicated to getting this here blog back on track.

FBI* note mailed to agent Nine Double Ones

Re: Operation Get'er Done

Today's password is:

"I want you to suck on my smelly-hairy asshole."

Your mission is to go to the local Hell's Angels shack down the road from Harry Sax's Bar and Grill in, !#MN"`?>P)=**. When you meet your contact (cleverly disguised as a motor cycle bad guy wearing leather and chains) you will whisper this into his ear. If anyone is trying to listen in, they will just brush the password off as you being a gay biker. Since you will be wearing a government issued, Made in USA*** leather biker suit, we thought the password would work really well.

After reciting the password, your contact will give you further instructions. Follow them to the letter. It is a matter of National Security.

You might be wondering why the suit is red, white, and blue. You are representing America. With these colours as your shield, you will never have to worry (another cleaver idea, we think). You can never have too much patriotism, right?

About the body armour you requested. We felt that it would make you too noticeable if a colourful biker was wearing a bullet proof vest. I mean, does Marvel Comic's Captain America wear a vest? Well, I know he has a shield, and his costume is chain mail, but you have padded leather.

Good luck,
Hairy Tackle
FBI* Head of Operations, Intern

*Federal Bi-polar Initiative
**Encoded for safety reasons (fucking Brilliant)
***USA is in China, for those of you not in the know.
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3 months later
Agent 9 - 1- 1's report.

Dear Hairy Tackle,

Mission accomplished. I know you men and women at the FBI head office have thought this through. I respect your efforts.

I arrived at Harry Sax's Bar and Grill to find out that the Hell's Angels have moved to a small establishment called Mr. Men's Blue Oyster, on the other side of town. I entered about noon and I was relieved to find my contact at the door. Agent Barry Bottums was ecstatic when I whispered the password in his ear. He looked me over and he said I must work at the Oyster.

Bottums asked me to do many things, and I complied just like you ordered me to. Not to worry, years of military service have taught me how to 'take it up the a$$' ever-so-often. Bottums had me interact with the customers and I got as much information out of them as I could. It is all included in the classified portfolio. It was unfortunate to hear that three months after I arrived on this assignment I would have to part. The Oyster was closed and Bottums told me to go back to where I came from. Such a clever code maker, Mr Bottums. He should be given a promotion.
He is so confidant and always says that he performs so much better when he is on top.

This assignment was rewarding and enlightening. I was worried at first, but...thank you.

Loves and Kisses
9-1-1

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I'll leave it at that. I know this is messed up, but I am too tired to think up other stuff.
-Dno