ON WRITING, yet horribly writen (HAHA)

I believe everyone has at least one novel in them. Granted some of them suck so bad that "A Study on Anal Warts" would beat them out of the best of the worst ideas for a book awards. I have started writing numerous times and yet have somehow quit even more (can't quite figure that one out).

Way back when I started a Yahoo Chat Room whilst in college (the lonely hearts club...I was in a Beatles mood), I found out I could write within a certain structure that could keep an audience. I kept it real and eliminated junk that tends to get me off track. Many who have heard me give a speech or presentation (college or after) may tell you that I can be interesting. Granted sometimes pointless, yet still interesting. Those who sat next to me at a bar heard me bitch about just about anything, then laugh it off. Cool, right? I could at least keep a drunkard's ass in a chair for a certain time (usually till I had to piss, avg. 15 min).

This brings me to a point (dull as it may seem). Even when I don't make any sense what-so-ever, I can keep an audience for a short period of time. Now, the challenge is to keep doing that over and over and over again. Okay, yes I teach, but I teach a different lesson every once in a while (I wonder how many kids would notice if I did the same lesson three times in a row). I change the topic, like in this blog.

So how to write something that will keep your attention, maintain some semblence of sanity or at least keep focused on the story, and make it interesting enough that I, myself, could write more than just 10 pages without totaly losing focus?

Well other than make this novel like a Seinfeld episode, I decided to put it off even before I started (AHH HA!!! That's how I quit more times than I started).

NO!!!

I will not give up, I will do a half-assed job, and get ideas from my little friend Bobo who lives in my big toe. Give Daddy a kiss Bobo...Damn, Bobo, go wash yourself. At least tell me if you stepped in dog vomit.

Well, maybe I will just post how many pages I wrote on this blog, use a computer with a spell checker, brush up on grammar, stop reading smut, and actually get to what I intended to do years ago...write a decent book I can read on my toilet.

(Thank you for your time!)

Jonathan Blowzlittldogz

Jonathan Blowzlittldogz was taking a walk to the dock when he saw a frog.
The frog jumped left, the frog jumped right, the frog jumped high with much delight.
The man in a hat, he chased the frog, but then he tripped upon a log.
The man spilt change and coins went flying.
A curvy woman bent for a quarter lying gently in a crack
With stilletto heels, a teeny g-string, a mini skirt and flimsy top,
While bending over, she showed a lot.
Little Gary resisted not and took a peek at said exposed tw@t.
Poor Gary's girl pal Sally slapped the little punk and ran
Into the tall man getting a tan.
He jumped and cried then copped a feel.
(Oh my GOD!!! Are you for real?)
Yes, the tanning bastard copped a feel,
Sally let out a little yelp, then screamed and shouted
HELP HELP HELP!!!
Gary came to save the day, followed fast by Harry Gay.
Gary Punched that tanning man as Harry held poor Sally's hand.
Jonathan Blowzlittldogz breathed a sigh.
He thought that with his name he'd die.
But as he looked around the dock.
He thought again and this time, thought not.
For fucked up things are all around.
Even at the docks they can be found.
A frog escaped a French chef's pot.
The chef tripped up and lost a lot.
A woman showed off her tastey flower.
Gary peeked and Sally soured.
The tanning man got what he deserved.
And Harry Gay...well, he's just fine.

(And the moral of today's story? Eat your veggies.)

THE BIG 20

NO! I did not turn 20, but I did make it to my 20th post. Yay me. Things that have happened to I, lately(and apparently later):

I have applied for many new jobs (hopefully I can get one of them), I am deflowering a RHPS virgin...later (OOOHHHH, Rocky-gotta find my heels), I was told I am just a conversation teacher (by the principal) and I am not worth it to have a salary at my current school (I get flat rate now, by the class) thus the applying for new jobs, I was insulted by a cow of a college professor/sales idiot when she made a very opinionated speach at the primary school my wife works at and I volunteer at, I noticed my son likes to write in the mirror image of things he is copying-3 looks like E and so on, I talked to a Shinobu-chan this morning (Shinobu is a naughty school girl who wants porn from me...) apparently, she will be 18 next month (this means she can get porn herself) yet she still asks, I can't find Carlos still (he is yet another MP3 Player) nor can I find the clone of PEPE, and I talked to Big Jono (well...mailed him) he has another boy.

Okay, the virgin is odd yet she has never seen Rocky. Unfortunately, I can't watch it with her, but there are the...others.

My current job is cool, summer sucks. No classes equals No pay. That makes me poor, but I can visit the US in a little wooden boat, YAY!!! That said, the principal has a point. I expected as much.

The Cow. She was the speaker at the end of the demonstration lessons. Usually these people give a general speach on education in general, she commented on all the lessons she stopped by to watch (they were all at the same time). She pointed out the good and the bad (opinions) and then she got to me. She copied my TPR memory device (Total physical response) stomping her feet and saying "I want to got to..." then she screamed "SORE KIRAI" (I hate that)...this elderly college professor says this in front officials of the city board of education, the regional education office, and my former colleagues (teachers and officals I have worked with and known for a while).

I did interupt her presentation at one point (while she was showing a video as not to cause a huge sceen, yet I did cause one) and I did make her nervous (Some of the other volunteers found that funny). I told her to appologize, but she refused. Later, the principal of that school asked me what happened. I told him straight out that I understood her opinion is her opinion, but you do not present it in this kind of forum in that way. She is elderly and supposedly experienced in giving speeches, yet there she was, describing her feelings towards my lesson (the breif part she saw) in such an abnoxious way. That and she said she'd take the time to talk to me after the presentation...she took off. I have more to tell, but I have to teach a class......

Laters